I feel like

I am waiting for my A'Levels results again... I am so scared.

Its a good thing I have Jan to fall back on. One SMS from her was able to put my feelings into place. She was able to tell how badly I wanted to do well and that was why I was freaking out the whole day.

20 extreme emotions in the last 3 weeks.

In the last 2 weeks, I must have been in a different world. maybe 20 different extreme emotions in the last 3 weeks !

I spent all monday and tuesdays nights at Singapore's Prisons doing my assignments with my classmates. Its crazy to know that after spend at least 16 hours working together with 5 others in the same group, you grow closer together as friends. Late night drives with the prison boys Andie and Beng brings new insights to life. ( by the way they are called prison boys because they work in the prisons ). I realized that working in the civil service is not as rosy as I previously thought and I am not ready to step in that direction yet. I am really comfortable where I am now but I am not sure of where my next step is. Received two calls from executive search firms, very flattered btw for excellent career opportunities.. Will see where those lead me. *very PROUD of myself*

I had two interns tagged to me for two weeks. It was extremely heartwarming to be involved in the girl's growing up process. Both interns were extremely young and have a lot to learn in life, there are too many things that I've have to check over and over again to make sure that everything turns out right. Guiding new staff and coaching is easier said than done. Jess started work at WT and I spend a large part of my time coaching her for her new job. I sat down and was very amazed with myself, I seemed to have stepped back in time to my LCP days. Being a leader is having confident in your team and passing on as much knowledge as you can, in the corporate world. too many people are too competitive to impart their knowledge and this disturbs the SHIT out of me. *%$&@ Selfish Bast**ds !*

Wai is back in town for a while ! Yeah ! He must be one of my longest friend alongside the barker boys.. Lets seee.. 10 years ? Spoke to Wai on the phone for about 35 minutes while at work, I thought about July 5th 2006. The day I returned from Canada. Truth is, I am still suffering from Canada-withdrawal-symptoms. Like Wai is from his down-under-symptoms. Its good to have a good friend back.. Its good to be able to have good conversations with old friends. *COMFORT*

Astrid will be having her second baby in about 190 days ( give or take ). I wonder if she is addicted to children.. Not a bad thing, i just really admire her.. I wish her second baby is a healthy baby and I wish she gets over her 'morning sickness' soon. *YIPPEEEEE for baby number 2*

Work is piling up. *FRIGHTENING* !

I havent had time to reply any emails to anyone ! I have pending emails to Switzerland, Canada, Hong Kong, Germany. *I miss you my friends but give me some time* *MISSING Friends very badly* ( I am sorry I have not been online lately and we have not talked for a while but I promise we will talk soon )

I have 20 'requests' for applications for facebook that I have gently 'ignored'. I have stupid friends who continue to send me chain mails / messages that I will NEVER pass on. But I did manage to 'cast a spell' on all my 300 facebook friends. *AAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH*

Sai is online most nights so at least I get to bounce ideas off her *EXTREME COMFORT*

A christmas party at IJ Home with the sisters and the IJ Alumni on Dec 9th *GRATEFUL for the IJ Education*

Mentoring Project with IJ Girls *BUSY BUSY BUSY*

Night out this Friday with Sec 4 classmates at Victoria's Pub. A reunion with the girls. We have come a long way, from loud crazy girls who always get into trouble to successful young working adults. Our teachers would be soooo freaking proud ! *SWEEEETNESS !*

It was my lil sis + lil'est sis birthday in the house + 4th aunt house warming + meeting josh's girlfriend for the first time is a whole whack of family events that took up all my sundays. Every weekend felt a little like Chinese New Year. *TOOOO MUCH FOOD *

I am not your maid !

I am not your maid, kindly refrain from asking me to do your chores. If I've already given you a suggestion, kindly move your ass, go ATTEMPT to fix YOUR problem and revert to me if you need more help. I am not your assistant, neither are you my boss. If you are asking for help, PLEASE and THANK YOU are phrases that you need to include in whatever and however you choose to ask.

Pretending to be a smart person yet totally incompetent with tiny technical gliches gives your pretence away. Speaking in another language in front of your co-workers does not make you any smarter either. Get a FREAKING clue: NO ONE is responding to you in French, so what does that mean ?

I do not give rat's ass on how many nights you stay up and think about how people wronged you or how you can do better... officially, as of today, you do not exist in my books.

I am back in IJ

These days, I go back to IJ very often, and I strongly believe that going back to IJ is good for the Celine soul.
Over the last few years, I have blogged about going back to IJ when I feel down. I sit on the steps and look out into the field and every problem seem smaller and more distant.

I must have done something really good in my previous life to deserve an education in IJ. I remember Sister Anne, she use to tell us that our ''IJ Badge is our M.R.T Card to success''. I never really understood what she meant when she said that but now I do.

I love my school and I love my teachers. My teachers who believed in me and never gave up. I could visit them regularly and tell them how grateful I am for what they have done for me but I found a different way to give back to my school now. Being in the alumni, taking the girls as interns in my company and volunteering as a mentor is my way of giving back to school.

I got up at 7am today to go back to school at 8. It was the perfect rainy saturday to sleep in, but I got up with no complains and not even the slightest irriation. Today, I found out how much I love doing what I am doing. I love the girls that I am mentoring and I love how much I was able to go back to school.

When I arrived at school, I saw the morning dew on the grass and remembered the days I had morning assembly with the choir. I saw the notice boards that the girls decorated with practise times, pictures and messages and I remembered my choir practise sessions. Today, I saw myself in school, I remembered the old blue bell, the middle stairs, the colourful science labs and i heard the teachers' voice. I remembered how Ms Jo Teo say "Kuai Dian ! Hurry Up !" Ms Teo Peng Suan said, " Tuck in your shirts girls !", " This is important so please listen". I remembered walking by classes and I can remember the teachers standing in front of the class with their books. Mrs Mag. Low always speaking fluently and standing so gracefully.

It was a very quiet morning but the school was so alive. Today, I was able to give someone directions in the new school, I know then that I am back in IJ. I am once again familiar with my school. Today is the day I say " I am back in IJ''

Going back to IJ is like the song " It feels like home to me'' by Chantal Kreviazuk.

This is how the chorus goes:

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong


Later in the day, I had the chance to talk to a few of my friends and they thought I was crazy with a thousand and one things to do but guess what ? I love my school and I believe in each and everyone of the girls that I am mentoring. Most of all, I am very happy to say " I AM BACK IN IJ !"

The details of your incompetence do not interest me.

"The details of your incompetence do not interest me." is increasingly becoming my favourite quote. I have a thousand things to think of, deal with. how you screw and why you screw up does not interest me.

Quite honestly, in my line of work where I come into contact with so many people very day, I have no time to deal with incompetencies. I have no time to fix your problems either. Fix your problems, learn from your mistakes and tell me later what went wrong and how you fixed it in under 5 minutes.

My days are packed from 7am to 11pm. My schedule is planned almost 1 month in advance. I have some days where I am free but I dont intend to fill them up, I cherish my weekends and I dont have too many hours on weekends to mess around with indecisivenes, mind changing. I am flexible with how I plan my time but 3 minutes notice is not something I can accept.

I can be a bitch and i am a perfectionist too. I have my dreams to go after and I am a busy and tired person.... ( I fell asleep at my keyboard 2 times this week ! ) I listen when its the right time so... give me a break... tell me when the job is completed and done well. Plan your time well because I do not want to waste time with last minute changes or ' I dont know' so... give me a break. I have too many things to do, your incompetencis and time wasting is not acceptable to me.

A quote for thoughts

There's one quote from Grey's and one that makes me think and feel alive today...

MEREDITH: "Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive."
GEORGE: "Family."
CRISTINA: "Love."
IZZIE: "Sex."
DEREK: "But we only need one thing"
RICHARD: "To actually be alive."
CRISTINA: "We need a beating heart."
ADDISON: "When our heart is threatened"
ALEX: "We respond in one of two ways."
GEORGE: "We either run or-"
IZZIE: "We attack."

RICHARD: "There's a scientific term for this."
ALEX: "Fight..."
ADDISON: "...or flight."
MIRANDA: "It's instinct."
MEREDITH: "We can't control it."
IZZIE: "Or can we?"


As I get more and more involved with the alumni and the mentoring project, working with over 150 people under my care, school and friends. I realised that a lot of people around me tend to 'Flight' instead of Fight when a challenging situtation arises, a lot of people chose the easy way out. They justify their reasons for taking flight as " Its a small matter ", " I chose to not fight what people think of me, I dont care", "If that is what they think, its fine. They have their opinions".

Here's what I think, logically, if a situtation doesnt work in your favor, take flight, it is a basic human instinct. But in life, it is about challenging the status quo, pushing yourself to do just a little bit more, showing the rest of the world that they were wrong to stereotype you and believe in yourself.

This might be one of the reasons why I enjoy my time with AIESEC, everyone in AIESEC pushes themselves just a little more, go just a little further to see where life leads and brings you.

So... my thoughts for today, be driven, challenge and be challenged. Go out there and change the world.