I am mad at you

Today, I conducted my last Product Knowledge Course with my beloved team. This is the last time I will be conducting this particular course with my present company. I love training and I love my staff. All of them, I will miss them very much.

I got into this line because I know training is something that I love and it is something that I have been doing for a long time. But I am angry at someone who took the joy of training away from me. I am angry because someone made me focus o drawing a clean and distinct line between being a trainer and a friend to my staff and because I respected her opinions and her years of experience but this was against my fundamental belief that being a trainer is like being a friend, sharing your knowledge and helping them to grow.

Over the last year and half, I grew close to a lot of my staff and they started to confide in me, they tell me their personal stories, they cry and sometimes I help them see a different point of view. I pushed them to go further in their studies, I challenge them to do more and I watch them grow. I share my lunch breaks and my personal time because I know I make a difference.

But someone took this joy away, she wanted be me to be like her detached and selfish. And this made me upset and confused for a long time. I spoke to some of my staff today and I told them about my departure. One of them said, you cannot leave, we are so used to having you around, having you to chat and one to talk to. We are like you now, we forgot who we were when we started and we are trained by you, so you cannot leave. It breaks my heart so much to have to say I am sorry guys.

So I am so angry at myself and also at someone. The biggest lesson I learn in being a trainer is this, go with your heart and your passion, impart your knowledge and only my heart knows whats best for my staff.

To all my staff, I am sorry I am leaving, I will miss you guys and I will be back to visit.

I am not your maid !

I am not your maid, kindly refrain from asking me to do your chores. If I've already given you a suggestion, kindly move your ass, go ATTEMPT to fix YOUR problem and revert to me if you need more help. I am not your assistant, neither are you my boss. If you are asking for help, PLEASE and THANK YOU are phrases that you need to include in whatever and however you choose to ask.

Pretending to be a smart person yet totally incompetent with tiny technical gliches gives your pretence away. Speaking in another language in front of your co-workers does not make you any smarter either. Get a FREAKING clue: NO ONE is responding to you in French, so what does that mean ?

I do not give rat's ass on how many nights you stay up and think about how people wronged you or how you can do better... officially, as of today, you do not exist in my books.

The details of your incompetence do not interest me.

"The details of your incompetence do not interest me." is increasingly becoming my favourite quote. I have a thousand things to think of, deal with. how you screw and why you screw up does not interest me.

Quite honestly, in my line of work where I come into contact with so many people very day, I have no time to deal with incompetencies. I have no time to fix your problems either. Fix your problems, learn from your mistakes and tell me later what went wrong and how you fixed it in under 5 minutes.

My days are packed from 7am to 11pm. My schedule is planned almost 1 month in advance. I have some days where I am free but I dont intend to fill them up, I cherish my weekends and I dont have too many hours on weekends to mess around with indecisivenes, mind changing. I am flexible with how I plan my time but 3 minutes notice is not something I can accept.

I can be a bitch and i am a perfectionist too. I have my dreams to go after and I am a busy and tired person.... ( I fell asleep at my keyboard 2 times this week ! ) I listen when its the right time so... give me a break... tell me when the job is completed and done well. Plan your time well because I do not want to waste time with last minute changes or ' I dont know' so... give me a break. I have too many things to do, your incompetencis and time wasting is not acceptable to me.

Company's Dinner and Dance

Today is the company's dinner and dance, we knock off at 4pm....
Armed with my invitation card and a name tag, my colleagues and I are ready to go !



Oh ! Its a BACK TO SCHOOL THEME !

[ I had the company's name scratched out ]

PHEW

I finished a rather huge project at work and I feel totally relived, and have a sense of accpomplishment. Its not an easy task, coming up with a whole proposal for the government and least to say I have only been with my company for 6 months.

Luckily for me I have supporting colleagues that helped me through the stressful times. Made me laugh during the stressful time, accompanied me to lunches and created a good cheerful work environment.

So.. this is a major project and I have just completed phase 1 .Two more phases to go... I wonder how many more sleepless nights.

Looking back, its good career opportunity and good growth. I've learnt more about the company and myself. I found out that I prefer working under some stress and although I am tired and stressed out. I did not allow the stress to get to me. I loved the fact that I was able to take my mind off work when I get home.

so far. I'm lovin' it.

the peeps at work

Folks, these are the people I work with, I see them and have lunch with them almost everyday ! Lovely group of people.

This picture was taken at Soon's wedding over the weekend and we managed to squeeze some time in to take a picture together.



Bottom Left to Right : Janis, Candy, Wendy and Selene H.
Top Left to Right : Xiao Wei, Meu Hui, Jeslyn, Me and Chervina

Yupe.. far too many pretty girls with girlish names too !